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Joke of the Day
"[my weiner falls off my body, into the toilet] ugh mercury must be in retrograde again"
Next Joke
"I was talking to coworkers about quitting this job and working as a pornographic actor... I decided against it, because I realized I was quitting ""This fucking job for that fucking job."""
"My dad was cutting up Onions and I started crying. Onions was a great dog."
"A man fighting a war finds an ancient lance capable of healing wounds rather than creating them. He names the weapon ""Ambu-lance"""
"Need some adultish-humor. I have a girl I like, and I want to make her laugh. What are the best jokes you guys can think of to make a dirty-minded teenage girl laugh?"
"Where do you send bad Russian cows? The Moolag"
"I got a new one for you. You know how I can tell if the government smokes the pot the DEA seizes? THEY'RE paranoid and OUR rights are being taken away."
"The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar... It was tense."
"What do you call a redhead [NSFW] ...in an interracial gangbang? Red Riding Hood Happy Halloween."
"Went to Whole Foods today, because we needed $157 worth of pesto and breads that will be stale in an hour."