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Joke of the Day

"A little boy wrote a letter to Santa stating he wanted a little sister The next day he got a letter from santa saying: Ok send me your mother"

"A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar... ...and the bartender looks at them and says, ""What is this, a joke?"""

"Food critics have it easy... everything is handed to them on a silver platter."

"People who criticize the year 2016 seem to have forgotten that back in May McDonald's accidentally gave me a Chicken McNugget with my fries."

"I like watching horror films hiding behind he sofa That way, my neighbors don't know I'm there Credit to Jim Carr"

"FRIEND: Wow you have bought A LOT of frozen food ME: I like to plan ahead FRIEND: But you haven't got a freezer ME: I'm a terrible planner"

"If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck, it might be a grebe. Know your waterfowl."

"What kind of animal has an asshole directly in the middle off its back? A police horse"

"I used to be a banker... But then I lost interest."

"ME: I JUST WENT TO THAT NEW SALON WHERE THEY CUT YOUR HAIR OFF BY SHOOTING IT WITH A GUN FRIEND: oh cool how was it ME: WHAT"