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Joke of the Day

"A woman just asked me what 'mansplaining' is. I think it's a trap. We've been staring at each other in silence for nearly an hour now."

Next Joke
 
"He died doing what he loved, annoying the hell out of me and not believing I would stab him."
"Pro tip: most pro tips are given by amateurs."
"Walked out the pub the other night and seen a bloke at the end of the road with a broken down car. I said ""what's the matter mate?"" he said ""piston broke"" I said ""so am I!"" and stumbled home."
"5 years ago today I asked a beautiful girl out on a date. Today at 3pm I asked that girl to marry me. She said no both times."
"Are designated drivers only for people who drink?? Coz I've already dropped my keys twice just walking to my car."
"[spelling bee] Your word is 'arrogance' ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" Of course I can, don't be stupid"
"Why cant Schizophrenics be alcoholics? because they never drink alone."
"What do you call a fish with no eye? A FSH"
"Things that smell better than they taste: coffee, popcorn, vanilla-scented ass."