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Joke of the Day

"[spelling bee] Your word is 'arrogance' ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" Of course I can, don't be stupid"

"What's the best part about twenty eight year olds?..... ......There's twenty of them."

"What's the difference between a manly female and a feminine male? A dick, you moron."

"Man and a duck... ...walk into a bar. ""ouch"" ""quack"""

"What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson fucks little boys"

"New study shows that Diarrhea is hereditary... Because it runs in the jeans."

"I need an aggressive dog-barking sound on my phone, for whenever anyone knocks on the bathroom door when I'm in there"

"Stop fcukin whining about being alone and lower your standards like the rest of us."

"What do you get when you mix the atlantic with the titanic About half way"

"Dropping the shampoo bottle in the shower is the most violent sound ever. ""U OK in there? Sounds like a Michael Bay film in that bathroom!"""