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Joke of the Day

"I don't understand why we use the word 'late' to describe someone who died, what were they late for? The funeral?"

"In the case of emergencies, why are women and children evacuated first? So that men can think for a solution in silence."

"What is the most common disease for lettuce? Icebergers."

"What am I? What has six tits and three teeth? The night shift at the Waffle House."

"What do you call taking a dump after breakfast? A Brexit"

"If an assassin killed exclusively Utility Workers, would that make him a PUD Whacker?"

"Why did the rancher stop attending poker night with his marijuana smoking steers? The steaks were getting too damn high."

"I'm pro-choice; pro-life is for babies."

"What is the definition of trust? Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob."

"They were just called ranch doritos until they started smoking parliaments and listening to mumford and sons"