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Joke of the Day

"Q: If Rodham gets health care Bentsen gets treasury and Aspin gets defense what does Gore get? A: Coffee."

"i can't wait til my boyfriend breaks up with me im gonna eat so much ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D"

"Whoever is bringing me the 3 dozen donuts each morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on my desk and not in the break room?"

"I cumfonted my girlfriend this morning... What did she have to say? Get me a towel."

"You're about as useful as closed captioning in a porno."

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"A vegan, a cross fitter and an engineer walk into a bar No they didn't, they couldn't decide who got to tell the bouncer at the door what they do."

"What did Jay-Z call his wife-to-be? Feyonce."

"WIFE: The police are at the front door ME: *hiding a bag of donuts* Do they look mad?"

"he's not all bad: after an 12 hour shift at a local food kitchen, mayor Rob Ford selflessly turned down a hot meal. ""I've got more than enough to eat at home"""