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Joke of the Day
"What am I? What has six tits and three teeth? The night shift at the Waffle House."
Next Joke
"If apple made a car... Would it have windows?"
"*dinosaur at zoo roars at me* ""ROAR"" whoa wat kimd of dinosaur is this ""GROWL"" hmm ""SHOUT"" hmmm ""YELL"" hmmmmm ""HOLLER"" oh its a thesaurus"
"On a scale of 1 to Osama Bin Ladin, how good was my hiding spot??"
"Will Smith was convicted They found fresh prints at the scene...."
"A swastika has been spray painted over Donald Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame... ...Police say it's impossible to tell if the act was committed by Trump's opponents or supporters."
"Make a birthday wish for mutant lung power then blow away your cake, your party guests, your house, car, trees, etc."
"My girlfriend said to me in bed last night, 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine.'"
"""I can't take this shit anymore."" --a clogged toilet"
"My doctor says my emoji use is keeping me young."