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Joke of the Day
"Woman on the Drive-Thru Speaker: Will there be anything else? Me: We just met."
Next Joke
"Deer Two deer were frolicking in a field and then a wolf came by. One of the deer said to the wolf, ""Are you here to kill us, Mr. Wolf?'' And the wolf said, ""No, for you are both dear unto me."""
"A Jewish kid asks his father for five dollars... and his father replies; ""Four dollars!? What do you need three dollars for!? Here's two!"""
"your mom's so fat her nickname is ""damn!"""
"Auto-correct changed my ""I'm tired"" to ""shut the fuck up, you unemployed bitch""."
"I had plans to start researching sinkholes But they fell through"
"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when put in the oven."
"*slowly unwraps a candy bar as neighbor talks about her new diet"
"Real women have curves!!! Real women have spirals!!! Real women are plump and covered in a creamy sauce wait nope thinkin of pasta"
"What's the difference between mass and weight? Mass is where Catholics go on Sunday, and weight is where sundaes go on Catholics. (From a poster on the ceiling in my dentists office)"