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Joke of the Day

"Why did Opey get fired from his job as a pizza delivery boy? Because Opey never delivered."

"You can insult anyone you want, as long as you end the sentence with ""but in a good way""."

"[Doctors appointment] Me: It hurts when I go like this. *gets up and leaves and goes to work*"

"If I ever become a filthy millionaire, I'm gonna string 50 smartwatches together and create a batman belt of gadgets out of them I know it's a waist of time, but it'll be worth it."

"Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He comes once a year! :-)"

"I signed up today for a college American Fiction Literature class, apparently it was a really popular class. It was LIT AF"

"I recently bought some Koi from Malaysia... That's one flight that made it."

"What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes ? Antteneye !"

"I was asked earlier today to submit a 1,000 word essay. I thought, ""fcuk that"". So I just submitted a picture instead."

"What did Masters say to Johnson? I don't know what the worlds coming to"