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Joke of the Day

"Never stop seeking knowledge. It is how we grow as a society. But if you do, go ahead and run for office."

"I have now stolen 56 copies of the board game ""Risk"" from local retailers. When they eventually catch me, I'll say ""Life is all about taking Risks."""

"I bet if I got one of those jumbo 16-slice toasters, people would finally take me seriously."

"Did you hear about the opera singing monk? He took a vow of Pavarotti."

"How do you make Polish sausage ? First you gotta find a retarded pig..."

"Know how the iPhone 6+ was invented by men? Only men would call something that measures 5.5 inches, ""six plus"""

"My ex-girlfriend is standing at the opposite end of the museum from me! I want to go say hi but there's just so much history between us."

"Fridge My fridge has been acting weird, I guess it's bi-polar."

"Where do otters come from? Otter Space!"

"[on plane] Me: It's ok, more ppl are killed by hippos than by plane crashes Pilot: This is your captain speaking, I'm a hippo btw Me: Nooooo"