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Joke of the Day

"I don't hate you, but if you we're drowning, I would dive in and handcuff a piano to your neck."

"A bomb went off in an ink factory... Everyone Dyed."

"I found a pot of gold today... Au yeah"

"What's Tyrion Lannisters's favourite sea food? Shrimp."

"Some of you I'd like to take under my wing like a mother hen. Others of you I'd like to trap between my thighs like the Cougar that I am."

"How many Psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the light bulb and another to hold the penis...I mean ladder."

"Did you hear about the Penn State professor who went around in a revolving door for six hours because he couldn't remember whether he was going in or coming out?"

"What's blue and fucks grannies? Me in my lucky blue suit."

"I don't believe in reincarnation but damn my dog looks like he's trying to crank over a motorcycle while he's sleeping."

"Knock, knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? My damn foot's stuck in door! Open up!"