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Joke of the Day

"I had a bukkake party last night. You should have come"

"Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the toilet? Because the 'p' is silent."

"If tree fall in Siberian woods... And tree fall on Glorious Leader Putin... Does make any sound other than applause?"

"since you're having surgery tomorrow, get here early and remember no eating after midnight ""because of nausea?"" no, because you're a gremlin"

"My ex-wife still misses me... But her aim is getting better"

"What's the worse part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair"

"Did you know the Bible forbids sunbathing in Greece? That means it is a sin to go to Cos and get a tan."

"Reporters Why did the reporter only dunk chips in the middle of the dip? He just wanted the inside scoop."

"I wished I loved anything as much as my wife loves inspecting the pots and pans I wash by hand."

"I was very upset at the funeral the other day. I started wailing and moaning and banging on the coffin In the end they opened it and let me out."