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Joke of the Day

"I wished I loved anything as much as my wife loves inspecting the pots and pans I wash by hand."

"Girl, are you these plates I recently bought from Wal-Mart? Because I just learned that you're not microwave-safe."

"Where does an octopus go to buy shoes? Inke"

"I bought a muzzle for my pet duck. Nothing flashy, but it fits the bill."

"Man: I want to share everything with you. Woman: Let's start from your bank account."

"Did you hear what happened to the dildo farmer? He had a big problem with squatters."

"Some lady on The Price is Right just won a brand new 2016 Epi-Pen."

"69 is the kamikaze of oral sex .. If I'm going down you're coming with me."

"Marriage should be traditional. As it was in The Bible. Between a man and a rib."

"Google would like to use your current location. Allow/Deny? Allow *100 Google employees throw a party at my house*"