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Joke of the Day

"Did I ever tell you about the industrial prostitute? She had a vagina surgically implanted on her hip. So she can make money on the side."

"If you ever get drugged by someone and they steal an organ, just check Craigslist. That's probably where I'm selling it at."

"And I don't want to hear people from imaginary places like Finland telling me that 57 degrees isn't cold, save it for the elves, Santa"

"Can you get a tattoo on your penis? Yea, but it would be hard."

"Just once, I'd like to see an honest Facebook status, like ""happy birthday to my average-looking, sort of friend, Amanda!"""

"Heard they weren't celebrating Christmas at the University of Alabama... Couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."

"Pro tip: Don't moan when getting a pat down at airport security"

"A friend of mine once said all bars and clubs are haunted... It must be because of all the spirits"

"/r/Jokes won the International Green Awards! 97% recycled content."

"Teach a man to fish and feed him for a day. Shoot him in the face and never have to deal with that whiny douchebag again."