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Joke of the Day

"Heard they weren't celebrating Christmas at the University of Alabama... Couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."

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"I like my drinks like I like my women.... Stiff and cold."
"I really hope we can call ninjas with red hair ""ginjas""."
"*notices wife has 5 asparagus on her plate while I only have 4* everything ok? ""fine"" [hour later during car ride home] you're speeding"
"Why is America bad at the game Chess? Because they don't know how to defend their towers."
"Interview Tip: When you get the ""where do you see yourself in 5 years"" question, don't say ""post-apocalyptic tribal warlord""."
"Damn girl are you a planet? Because i can see Uranus through my binoculars at night."
"A gay man asked me which way I went and I said, ""Counter-cockwise."""
"Best joke in the world? Women's rights."
"What happens when the smog/fog/smoke over Los Angeles lifts? You see L.A."
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