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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the duck stop smoking? Because he was a quack addict"

"Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician."

"If only we had more money for mosquito nets in Africa... think of all the mosquitoes we could save from dying needlessly of AIDS."

"Guys remember: if you encounter a girl in her natural habitat, don't panic. She's just as scared as you. Make loud noises, she will run off."

"What material does Cayde-6 use to repair his armor after falling feet first into hell? Nathan Filaments ( ) X-Post from /r/DestinyTheGame"

"How did the dungeon keeper plan for retirement? Collecting stocks and bonds."

"Whats the most unlikely line to read in the bible ? The characters in this book are entirely fictional."

"A recent survey asked 12 year olds what they had done over the past week. 83 percent answered... ""your mom""."

"My favourite drivers are the designated ones."

"Arrived home last night to find a man trying to steal my front gate. I didn't abuse him though, I thought he may take a fence."