70425

Joke of the Day

"DRUG DEALER: what'll it be man ME: *wearing a wire* some drugs please [at the surveillance van] DEA AGENT: did he just say some drugs"

"What's shorter than Mt. Everest? Mt. Everer"

"What does the Pope and a Christmas tree have in common? The balls are for decoration only"

"I go to strip clubs for the music."

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her pussy? Only one retarded thing came out of her pussy."

"*BUSTS DOWN DOOR* *Fires off jokes* *Kidnappers helpless in laughter* ""..and that's how your granpappy saved baby Jesus."" - Me, someday"

"CNN: The boy who cried Breaking News."

"I just sent a text that says ""we really need to talk"" to everyone I know so nobody will bother me today."

"If you cut off a mommy blogger's head she can continue mommy blogging for up to three full minutes."

"Why do Hipsters wear long pants in the summer They are doing it before it's cool"