149317

Joke of the Day

"""Bro check out that DILP."" ""Where? Wait what's a DILP?"" ""Dog I'd Like to Pet."""

"Did you hear about that psychic who performed self-immolation in public today? It's rare to see a medium well done."

"Why did the melon get married in a church? Because he was in love with a cantaloupe."

"Homeless Yelp Review: Dumpster behind grocery on Calhoun & Fairfax BARELY had any rotting fruit. Owner chased me off with a bat. 0 stars."

"A cop stopped a guy for speeding... He said, ""I have been waiting all day for someone like you."" And the guy answered, ""That's why I wanted to be here as fast as possible !"""

"Why is it so hard to forgive hitler? Because he did nothing wrong"

"What do you call a bouncy plane? Boeing Boeing Boeing"

"My Chinese friend died today... So Yung"

"A guy with a gun walks into a bar.. ""Which one of you fuckers slept with my wife?!"" A voice from the back shouted ""I don't think you have enough bullets, mate"""

"Harper Lee's new novel is a Mexican spinoff of her classic... Tequila Mockingbird"