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Joke of the Day

"A guy with a gun walks into a bar.. ""Which one of you fuckers slept with my wife?!"" A voice from the back shouted ""I don't think you have enough bullets, mate"""

"1. Hide babies all over house. 2. If a kid asks, ""Where do babies come from?"" laugh, ""Where DON'T they come from!"" and open every cabinet."

"I've developed an app for dating children nearby. It's called Kinder."

"I'm constantly amazed that only 26 letters in the alphabet can produce so much bullshit."

"Your Honor, for our opening motion in this murder trial, the defense would like to submit, as exhibit A, the victim's ringtone."

"My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof."

"Why did the adobe acrobat document go to jail? ...because it was a pdf file."

"People with Swiss bank accounts are often confused between their Bank balance and the Back Account number."

"I wasn't planning on sleeping with that alchemist, but one thing Pb to another..."

"I really want to take my girlfriend out to dinner... ...But she asks way too much per hour."