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Joke of the Day

"And on the sixth day, God created man first so that he could enjoy a few minutes on Earth without saying the wrong thing to a woman."

"BAGPIPE VS. ONION Q: What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion? A: No one cries when you cut up a bagpipe."

"Somebody once told me I was a real skeptic... I didn't believe 'em."

"What language does robot Marco run on? Rubio on rails"

"What did the call of duty player say to his girlfriend about gaining weight? EX SO FAT"

"Goldilocks taught me that you can get away with breaking into a brown family's home and stealing their food, as long as you're a white girl."

"If Dumbledore did a 'Cribs' episode for Hogwarts, he'd be like ""and this is where the magic happens"" in every room."

"I had a dream I was in a part of the US that was filled with nothing but museums. It was State of the Art."

"What's the difference between a feminist and an archangel that dislikes Biblical prophets? One is a Dan-hating Mike. The other is a man-hating dyke. edit: spelling because of anal dykes"

"Q: What did one hat say to the other hat? A: You stay here. I'll go on a head."