173846

Joke of the Day

"Started with the tips of my fingers.. We got more into it, my fingers got deeper. She says ""babe take off your ring its hurting me"", I respond ""you mean my watch?"""

"Why don't Mexicans have BBQ s? Because beans always fall through the grill."

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change & the strength to lift a car over my head. Saving the third wish for later."

"If pro is the opposite of con, then whats the opposite of progress? Congress"

"My Japanese dentist became a woman. He's a trans zen dentalist."

"Teacher- ""what does a chicken give you?"" Students- ""Meat!"" Teacher- ""Good! Now what does the pig give you?"" Students- ""Bacon!"" Teacher- ""Great! Now what does a fat cow give you?"" Students- ""Homework!"""

"I traded my blowup doll in for a middle eastern version.. It blows itself up.."

"My Wife told me to treat her like a princess So I put her in the back of my car and crashed it into a tunnel"

"New York City is the only place where sound travels faster than light. I always hear the horn before the light turns green."

"I saw my ex getting jumped at a party 3 people started beating her up, so I decided to help out...that bitch didn't stand a chance against the 4 of us."