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Joke of the Day

"At this point, it's kind of embarrassing if your pet isn't a YouTube sensation."

"What is Forest Gump's email password? 1forest1"

"My son will never know the thrill of illegally downloading Thong Song on napster and waiting 1h39m for it to download"

"I met a girl that told me, ""Make me laugh and I'm yours"". So I pulled down my pants. Apparently, she didn't want to laugh that hard. :("

"Posting a status update before responding to someone's text is the easiest way to let them know how unimportant they are."

"What kind... What kind of vitamins pirates take? Vitamin ""D""."

"Yo' mama is so fat, when she walked by the TV I missed 3 episodes."

"REALTOR: You'll LOVE this home- ME: My dog doesn't like it. REALTOR: But I- ME: [holding dog in realtor's face] I TRUST HIM MORE THAN YOU"

"Sad to hear of the passing of Liesl von Trapp at the age of 73, going on 74."

"Nintendo managed something astonishing in this week's Nintendo Direct announcements... People finally gave a shit about Cloud based gaming."