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Joke of the Day
"What do you get when you make a scarf out of a cat? A Neko."
Next Joke
"I leave the window open at night hoping a drunk criminal will accidentally drop a bag of money inside while trying to break in."
"90% of the steps on my FiBit are just me wandering around looking for my keys"
"A guy walks into a doctors office with a carrot in his ear and a piece of celery up his nose. The doctor told him he wasn't eating right."
"All the guys complaining about my thighs touching each other... If you were this close to my vagina you'd be touching yourself too."
"[Game of Thrones] What happens if Ramsay Bolton met Samwell Tarly's girlfriend? Gilly suit"
"Did you know you can tell the gender of an ant by putting it in water? If it sinks, it's a girl. If it floats, it's buoyant"
"Phoned up the local gym I phoned up the local gym and asked them if they could teach me the splits. They asked me how flexible I was. I said I can't make Tuesdays."
"A man is getting a prostate exam... During the exam, the man asks the doctor, ""Is there anything I should be worrying about?"" The doctor says, ""Only if you can feel both my hands on your shoulders."""
"A polish joke my grandpa told me: ""What happened to the Polish dog?"" He chewed off 3 legs and was still caught in the trap"