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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Blonde go to a Phone Repairman to get her anus bleached? Because she needed help changing her ring tone."

"'Dances with Wolves'... But it's just me, running around my backyard with an uncooked steak, screaming, while the neighborhood dogs bark."

"My companies biggest customer is the state of Missouri. I guess it's safe to say Missouri loves my company."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his coffee? He drank it before it was cool."

"What did Bernie Madoff say to Bernie Sanders? I'll take your money!"

"What do you call a person with normal abs in a universe full of fat people Abnormal"

"What do you call a roaming caveman? A meanderthal"

"May I hold your baby? May I throw her across the room into that pile of empty boxes? Okay, I'll just hold her then."

"What do you call a crappy skin cream? DisappointmentTM"

"I was arrested for having sex with a 15 year old girl... ...i thought she was a couple of years older than that, I suppose that makes two reasons why I'm a bad father."