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Joke of the Day
"My mood ring was recently stolen. I'm not sure how I feel about it."
Next Joke
"Lock myself in the bathroom for an hour and a half to get ready. Come out looking exactly the same, but my phone's at 9% and I have to pee."
"What did the slutty interstate say to the porche? I got curbs!"
"Why are the best bellydancers all Arabs? Because they can sheik it."
"If my girlfriend and I were stoners, I would propose by asking ... ...""Marriage, you wanna?"""
"Ocean's 45: The group gets bigger each heist It's too hard to keep secrets Someone posts the next plan on Facebook Everyone goes to jail"
"My doctor said I shouldn't binge drink, so now I just drink all the time."
"Good news, people in 3rd world countries, suffering inexplicable hardships- Amy from fb says god won't give you more than you can handle."
"I'm waiting for Twitter to be adapted into a big budget sci-fi action movie: ""In space no one can hear you tweet."""
"Donald trumps next book should be called ... The gift of the grab."