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Joke of the Day

"My friend was quite a colorful character... His name was Hugh"

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"How many vampires does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they prefer the dark."
"Im going to change my name on Facebook to ""Benefits"", so that when you add me it will say, ""You are now friends with benefits"""
"If a car is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? Zero! Snakes don't have armpits!"
"What is the speed limit of Sex? 68, because at 69, you eat it."
"I wish I could illegally download better health care insurance."
"No one your age has any idea what they're doing either. No matter what age you are."
"If a parsley farmer is sued... can they garnish his wages?"
"I'd like to give it up to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets."
"You call it armed robbery, I call it people giving me gifts to celebrate my new gun!"