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Joke of the Day

"How is having sex with a woman and eating at KFC similar? After you're done with the juicy breasts and the tender thighs, all there's left to do is to throw the bone in the greasy box."

"I made love to a girl in quicksand. That was the only time she went down on me."

"You had me at ""I bet I can get that whole thing in my mouth."""

"Why is the Doctor an excellent chef? He's a Thyme Lord"

"A magician was walking down the street ...and turned into a grocery store."

"Catch a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish (read the rest as Groucho Marx) and you'll never see him on the weekends."

"It's sad when your closest friends get remarried and you know it'll be another 2-5 years before they're single and ready to hang out again."

"What is a guy with multi-tasking called? Husband."

"How does one even? It simply doesn't, because it's odd."

"Your family tree must be a cactus ... Because everyone on it is a prick."