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Joke of the Day

"My wife doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex. This is all I'm spending for her Christmas present. So far she's getting a McChicken."

"Are you a monosaccharide? 'Cause sugar, you're basic."

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler? Well, one is a racist, megalomaniacal, rabble-rousing buffoon and the other one is Adolf Hitler."

"""Hi, it's me. I can't get to the phone right now, even though it's right here in my hand."""

"What did sushi A say to sushi B? Wassa B."

"I have a condition where I spontaneously tell jokes at random times I think it's a gag reflex."

"[DOG MAGICIAN] think of a color, any color...is it...gray? [OTHER DOG] oh my GOD"

"You Are What Your Eat I used to love the candy Nerds, but I stopped eating them when I realized that for me, it was basically cannibalism."

"What do you call a bunch of Indians running down a hill? A: A mudslide How do you make one? A: Roll a coin down a hill Who is the richest man in India? A: The guy who got the coin"

"What did the Mexican say when a gust of wind blew his homework out the window? Come back essay!"