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Joke of the Day

"My family doesn't have a swear jar, but we do have a totes perf jar. If you say totes or perf, we throw a jar at you"

Next Joke
 
"Michelangelo seems like a genius until you realize he spent hours of his life carving a dude's pubes out of marble."
"Why do the horses hate the jockey? Because he's a horse racist."
"My girlfriend likes to call my dick ""The Cannon"" because it has a short fuse and only one ball."
"[NSFW] I know one woman who prefers uncut cocks... And that would be my mother, obviously."
"[Next door dog barking] Me: *inserts earpugs* [Barking intensifies] Me: wtf................haha oh *removes earpugs and inserts earplugs*"
"Advertised as a ""Cougar Cruise"" Reality - Weight loss cruise where live cougars are released & you spend your vacation fleeing large cats"
"What did the mushroom say on his dating profile? I'm a fungi!"
"My mom's favorite part of Mother's Day is describing my birth in detail to an 18 year old waitress who is just there to get our drink order."
"What keyboard layout does Miley Cyrus use? TWERQY."