7922

Joke of the Day

"[DOG MAGICIAN] think of a color, any color...is it...gray? [OTHER DOG] oh my GOD"

"Where is your 1,000 word essay? ""Right here"" *pulls out selfie* That's a picture... ""A picture is worth 1,000 words"" *becomes valedictorian*"

"What did the doctor say to the angry midget? ""I'm going to ask you to be a little patient."""

"I was shopping with my wife the other day and saw a TV on sale for $20... It said that the volume was stuck on full. I looked at my wife and said ""I can't turn this one down!"""

"What does Leia say when she needs help? I think I could use a Han here."

"Toast is just bread that likes to party."

"What do you call an Atheist at a Christian fancy dress party? A cross-dresser."

"I was thinking about perfect spirals in the restroom, I now know why its called the ""golden"" ratio."

"Why do felines always win board games? Because they are cheetahs."

"Skyped my dad today and had a great conversation with his forehead and nose hairs..."