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Joke of the Day

"what jerk ever looked at a hamburger and thought ""you know what this needs? A nice, soft, warm piece of lettuce."""

"Fuck you KFC with your ""we don't serve hot dogs"" and your ""we don't accept $30 bills""."

"Don't be sad if you don't have a Valentine on Valentine's Day Most people don't have AIDS on World AIDS day either."

"Q: How do you get 2 piccolos to play a perfect unison? A: Shoot one."

"Finding $5 you didn't know you had is awesome til you realize you're 34, it's 2011 & $5 won't even buy enough gas to drive you off a cliff."

"How do you view lesbian relationships? 1080p"

"I used to be a phone sex worker... until I got hearing aids."

"The only reason most men are homophobic is because they are afraid of being hit on in the same manner that they do to women(cat call)"

"hear about the guy who got an Indian tattooed on his arm his arm stopped working"

"What do you call a criminal jazz player? Felonius Monk!"