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Joke of the Day

"I went to an Indian restaurant and ordered a Pelican curry... ...it wasn't a bad meal, but the bill was enormous."

"You can't run in a campground, you can only ran because it's past tense."

"What crime did the man get charged with when he killed a black man? Impersonating a police officer."

"Never date a tennis player Love means nothing to them."

"How does cheese get more mature? Fromage"

"Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I. Classic from ""What About Bob"""

"The restraining order doesn't mean we can't hang. It just says I can't get within 50ft of you. You wanna play catch or Frisbee or something?"

"I hate forensic TV shows like CSI. I know for a fact that they are completely unrealistic... I mean come on, women detectives?"

"I prefer women with big breathing problems than big breasts. I'm an asthma-n."

"My house got broken into the other night... The thief didn't take anything, he just left a note. All it said was 'get better stuff.'"