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Joke of the Day

"Finding $5 you didn't know you had is awesome til you realize you're 34, it's 2011 & $5 won't even buy enough gas to drive you off a cliff."

"There was a king with three cups. He filled the first cup. He filled the second cup. But he left the third cup empty. What was the kings name? King Philip the Third."

"Two fish are in a tank. One fish asks the other fish ""How do we drive this thing?"""

"The American healthcare system ."

"Me and My wife wrote the best articles on how to create a successful marriage I would have published it but she took half of it in the divorce settlement."

"Welcome to Asia's newest billionare. His name is Cha Ching."

"How are America and McDonald's similar? They are both run by red-headed clowns."

"I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit."

"My grandpa was one of the Holocaust survivors... But then again, most guards survived."

"Why do electricians wear pants? Because they hate shorts."