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Joke of the Day

"This guy rapes people with a smile on his face Fuck this psycho up. 248 Oh 330 And 0815"

"There's absolutely no way Lady Gaga was born with half an Office Depot hot-glued to her head."

"I met Mrs. Right today Too bad she's already married."

"What did the hipster astronaut say when his space mission arrived at the Sun? Not cool."

"I once knew a bald guy who liked to draw rabbits on his head but from a distance they looked like hares"

"Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller?"

"Anderson Cooper: ""the Arizona wildfire is flaming out of control."" Arizona Wildfire: ""Wow, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black."""

"I haven't heard anything from my doctor since my ear surgery. Or anyone, for that matter."

"My neighbour hit the post reversing out of the driveway. He hit the poor man delivering it too."

"What is the difference between a man and a dog? A man wears a suit and the dog, pants."