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Joke of the Day

"My neighbour hit the post reversing out of the driveway. He hit the poor man delivering it too."

"A man walks into a bar... While his wife sits at home crying, because his crippling alcoholism is destroying their marriage. Happy Wednesday..."

"Can prisoners ask for The Olive Garden's Endless Pasta for their last meal? If so, I think I just found a loophole in our judicial system."

"If Dracula saw Twilight, he'd stake himself."

"Father: How do you like going to school? Son: The going bit is fine as is the coming home bit too but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!"

"What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? Quatro cinqo. EDIT: Yeah, I take French, not Spanish. :)"

"If you were a pizza... you'd be a pizza shit!"

"The problem with Freud... The problem with Freud is that none of his theories are testicle. Edit: testable*"

"I've got to go guys. Yesterday I bought a new shampoo that's supposed to change my life."

"""Hey can you take our picture?"" ME: yea sure *takes picture* ME: wait sorry, The Flash was turned on THE FLASH: *blushing in the background*"