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Joke of the Day
"Sometimes a man's idea of honesty in a relationship is telling you his real name."
Next Joke
"How to make a trump sandwich Russian Potato Bread Lots of Baloney Peanut Butter One Small Pickle"
"Liz from HR just called me in. I guess my thigh gap is distracting everyone, like that's my fault"
"My friends most commonly describe me as ""who?"""
"I'm making a fortune promoting home security systems The pitch is easy. All I do is say ""Good morning"". At 3am whilst sitting on the end of their bed."
"Mom asked if I wanted to race toy cars with my neighbor Chucky. I responded, ""Nah, that's child's play."""
"Man from Nantucket There once was a man from Nantucket Was writing a Limerick but said, ""Fuck it."""
"~ Gets old. Puts car keys in 'better' place so I won't lose them ~ Can't find keys, has thrombosisDies ~ Comes back as ghost ... finds keys"
"What do you call a person with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Fucked."
"When I was younger MTV actually played videos. That's what the M stands for. Music. Not Maternity, Motherhood or Moron."