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Joke of the Day
"Why was Mary Jane not a virgin? Her mother leaves."
Next Joke
"my dick was in the guinness book of world records. then the librarian told me to take it out"
"Twilight's like soccer. They run around for two hours, nobody scores, and its billion fans insist you just don't understand."
"Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice."
"Skunks Roses are red. Violets are blue. If skunks had a college They'd call it P.U."
"I had professional respect for you but then you said ""recognizance"" when you meant 'reconnaissance.'"
"So far, not a single girl I've asked is interested in a fling. I don't think they trust my human catapult."
"WHAT DO WE WANT!? CLEARED TIMES ON OUR MICROWAVES! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? 0:00!"
"My sister borrowed my favorite shirt without asking again, so I changed her Facebook profile picture to a positive Clearblue pregnancy test."
"My Ideal Woman is a Single Mother ...once I've finished with her."