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Joke of the Day

"Why was Mary Jane not a virgin? Her mother leaves."

"Were you born on Highway 22? Because I heard alot of accidents happened there."

"Do you know why Adele crossed the steet? To say hello from the other side :P"

"We're all sex addicts. Some of us just have better dealers."

"I'm 39 years old and I still have no idea what I would do if a kangaroo entered my bedroom in the middle of the night."

"FDA should require Starbucks baristas/cashiers to be calorie counters. ""Here's change of 50 and that's 1,073 calories of your Venti Frap."""

"When I see a door with the sign 'Door Alarmed' I always tell the door ""don't worry, it's only me"" ~ It's all about the empathy."

"So Decartes goes to a restaurant for dinner... After enjoying his meal, the waiter asks Descartes if he would like any dessert. Politely, he responds, ""I think not,"" then immediately disappears."

"My GF left me because she said I lied about stupid things. I was so upset I ate a car park :("

"TIL it costs more money to make a penny than how much it's worth That makes very little cents"