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Joke of the Day

"A law student walks into the bar... ...and passes with flying colors."

"I've been starting my diet tomorrow for the last 20 years."

"What's a one way streets favorite band? One Direction"

"""Cool calculator watch dude."" ~nobody since 1987."

"Soldier Smith! I did not see you at camouflage training yesterday! -Sir, Thank you very much, Sir!"

"I bought a blowup doll today, but I won't blow her up until tomorrow. I don't want to seem desperate."

"The worst thing about living in the city must be cleaning all the dead parkour people out of your chimney."

"I hate recursion, irony, and the Oxford Comma."

"Did you hear about the porno at the campground? It was fucking in tents."

"I was once told there was nothing positive about the Bubonic Plague I think Malthus would disagree."