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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if King Kong sits on your best friend? A flat mate."

"What is the best food to eat after a circumcision? Brissket"

"I got arrested for indecent exposure after my neighbour claimed he could see my penis. Maybe he should get a smaller postbox?"

"So this is what it's like to grow up. Fucking bullshit is what it is."

"""The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach."" - The worst surgeon in the world"

"ok kids, this is a smoke detector, if you hear it beeping change the battery, if it's still beeping, check to see if ur on fire"

"The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close."

"The term ""Expecting a baby"" implies uncertainty. Like we're almost sure it's a baby, but could also be a bushel of potatoes, who knows"

"Why couldn't the Japanese guy see his car? Because he had a cataract!"

"Why can't Zeno seem to pay his bar tab in full? Answer: Because he kept giving half of what he owes."