173946

Joke of the Day

"""The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach."" - The worst surgeon in the world"

"I was at a barbecue party when a cow from a nearby farm charged me and chased me into a corner It was at that moment I realized my life was at steak"

"What's a pirates favorite class? Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt"

"What's the definition of a good actor? Somebody who tries hard to be everybody but himself."

"Looking for Texas? Drive east or west on Interstate 70 until you smell shit. Then go south till you run into it"

"I'm going to get a dime-sized spider tattooed on my penis. It's the only way I can get women to shout ""Oh my God it's huge!"" when they see my dick."

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number, you wouldn't have heard of it"

"A blind man.. Is walking down the street and stumbles upon a fish market With out skipping a beat he says ""good morning ladies!"" *proceeds to play colt 45*"

"Why did Billy not care who he offended while posting on the internet? Because the ends justify the memes"

"My mate tried some Walkers mystery flavour crisps last night and swore they tasted like his wife's pussy, He thought it was his imagination but everyone in the pub said he was right!"