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Joke of the Day
"""Mom, I don't like my little brother."" ""Then just eat the vegetables."""
Next Joke
"A German man walks into a bar... and orders a Martini. The barman asks: ""Dry?"" The German replies: ""No, just one, thank you."""
"Would everyone in the room who believes in telekinesis... Please raise my hand?"
"Some of my friends are doctors and human rights activists and I just spent the last 22 minutes trying to open a pistachio."
"How do you know when you've fucked an apple? When you're in cider"
"if your religion infringes on people's rights; sorry, you've had hundreds of years to change everyone's mind- obviously that hasn't happened"
"My friend's bakery burned down last night. I think his business is toast."
"Apparently, when the Queen was at school, her strongest subject was the Gym teacher."
"I'm taking the soul train to Funky Town with my boogie shoes on, and the dish ran away with the goddamn spoon. This is really good weed."
"A nihilist was robbed at gunpoint. Nothing of value was stolen."