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Joke of the Day
"Apparently, when the Queen was at school, her strongest subject was the Gym teacher."
Next Joke
"Why do mimes always lose arguments? They don't have a say in anything!"
"What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes."
"Apparently, ""I just assumed"" is a horrible answer when your wife asks you why you bought her the ""heavy flow"" tampons."
"My friends think I should stop telling jokes because my punchlines are always shit. Shit."
"I'm sorry I stabbed all your tires, but in my defense you flirted with me and then said you were just kidding."
"How often does an oriental farmer milk his cows? Dairy"
"If Hillary wins I'm leaving the country if trump wins I'm leaving the country. Not a political repost I'm just getting deported"
"A man was on an escalator.. When all of a sudden it went very fast. He arrived at the top, turned around and said.. ""well that escalated quickly""."
"'babe, i'm ready' -says my wife, from the bedroom 'be right there' -i say from the bathroom, trying furiously to untangle my yo-yo string"