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Joke of the Day

"Would everyone in the room who believes in telekinesis... Please raise my hand?"

"What did the busy tailor say to the Scarecrow who needed some mending? I can't find the twine."

"What happened when the husband tried to deep fry his wife? She went to the battered women's shelter"

"How do you know Jesus was Jewish? He lived at home until he was 30. He went into his fathers business. He thought his mother was a virgin, and his mother thought he was god."

"My grandfather told me this one.. You need to try everything in life at least once except three things: incest, heroin and folk dance."

"I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl with one hand. It's 42."

"I saw a refrigerator call a cab once Guess he was tired of running."

"Standing in a park today wondering why a frisbee gets larger the closer it gets. And then it hit me! -Stewart Francis"

"Does anyone know how the lady reacted when Van Gogh gave her his ear? Was it positive? Cause I'm running out of ideas for gifts."

"What does a paint brush eat for dinner? Bristoles!"