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Joke of the Day

"Mattel is launching a new Facebook Barbie. She looks like a stunning hot blonde on the package but is an old fat guy when you open the box."

"Signs that things aren't going well: 1) your gums bleed when u brush your hair. 2) u pray for the demise of the same 6 people every day."

"I met a girl who was into leather and bondage. She tied me up and stole my wallet."

"Q: Why are blondes like corn flakes? A: Because they're simple easy and they taste good."

"FARMER: Who raided my vegetable patch? PIGLET: Beets me!"

"My son and I play a game where he talks all day and I bang my head against a wall."

"My enemies are gonna be so sorry if I ever get out of this bean bag chair."

"I sexually identify as Counter Strike... *And I'm globally offended*"

"Jean shorts on men should be called Danny Dukes. Or Daisy Dons. Or maybe just Poor Life Choices."

"Did you hear about the naked man who fell into an upholstery machine? He is fully recovered."