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Joke of the Day

"Signs that things aren't going well: 1) your gums bleed when u brush your hair. 2) u pray for the demise of the same 6 people every day."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breasts? One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean."

"How do we know that the toothbrush was invented in Mississippi? Because anywhere else it would've been called the teethbrush"

"Not that I hate you.. But I'll unplug your life support to charge my phone"

"How does the man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it!"

"Anglo/German Dad Joke Q: What do you call an elf that's afraid of Jethro Tull? A: 10:45"

"Why did Tigger look down the toilet? To find Pooh!"

"In Flint, Michigan, students have no difficulty learning A G and P Z. The problem's H to O."

"What species of mushroom is known for being an instigator? The shiitalkie mushroom."

"The worst part about ""Friends"" being canceled is that I've now been stuck with Rachel's last haircut since 2004."