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Joke of the Day

"A public restroom I was in had a sign that said ""Flush toilet paper only"" and I just thought Well, shit"

"A man walks into a bar... The bartender says, 'I am fucking done with all these jokes!'."

"Breaking news: Cheese Factory Explosion De brie everywhere."

"[at my house after 1st date] me: so, do you wanna have some sex? her: well, I don't normally do this...but I think I'll pass"

"I used to have a bird called ""Stockholm syndrome"" who lived on my shoulder. I used to hate the bastard, but in the end, he grew on me."

"I do have a joke about circumcision, but I'll need to cut it short."

"Sixteen sodiums walk into a bar... ...followed by Batman."

"On a scale of 1 - 10 where 10 is being up on technology and 1 is washing clothes by beating them on a rock, I'm about a 5."

"What do Russians call their barbers? Combrade"

"The year is 2027. Voice to text is flawless. A young child points at a bird and says, ""Duck"". His mother slaps him."