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Joke of the Day

"The year is 2027. Voice to text is flawless. A young child points at a bird and says, ""Duck"". His mother slaps him."

"One day a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly the blonde's friend said ""Oh look a dead birdie!"" The blonde looked up and said ""Where?"""

"I'd hate to play baseball with the witches from Macbeth Because they think that Fair is Foul and Foul is Fair."

"What is Jamaica's favorite male bird? The mongoose."

"Wife: What are you gonna do today? Me: Shower. W: ...what else? M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower."

"You don't need a parachute to skydive... You need a parachute to skydive twice."

"What is Saddam Hussein's favorite band? My Chemical Romance"

"Why couldn't Bach pay for his dinner? Because he was Baroque."

"This morning i used redbull instead of water to make my coffee. After 15 minutes of driving on the highway, i realized i left my car at home!!!"

"What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor."