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Joke of the Day
"*seinfeld voice* What's the dill with pickles?"
Next Joke
"I have to admit my heart broke a little when I heard the lady at Starbucks call the guy in line behind me ""sweetie"" too."
"A drunken man speaks what a sober man thinks."
"What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing -- apples don't talk!"
"Why can't black people get PhD's? Because they can't get past their Masters."
"Lightbulbs in Magaluf What type of lightbulbs go clubbing in Magaluf*? LEDs (*Note for any US viewers Magaluf is a popular destination in Spain for Brits that go on massive drinking/clubbing holidays)"
"Siri: Retweet me."
"How can a blind person tell if they're home? They check the architexture."
"I bought my shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day."
"Everytime I have sex... It's really hands on."