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Joke of the Day

"Lightbulbs in Magaluf What type of lightbulbs go clubbing in Magaluf*? LEDs (*Note for any US viewers Magaluf is a popular destination in Spain for Brits that go on massive drinking/clubbing holidays)"

"The Dalai Lama walks into a pizzeria ""Make me one with everything."""

"I knocked over a horny marine on the motorway the other day. I was driving on the hard soldier."

"My girlfriend and I have been arguing a lot recently Last night she threw a lettuce at me. That's just the tip of the iceberg."

"What do you call a cow with its front legs missing Lean beef"

"My husband and I both have colds but only his is really really bad."

"Did you hear what happened at the indian restaurant yesterday? Apparently it was a Naan event."

"So I went over to my uncle with a lisp's house He asked me ""hey d-do you w-w-want a d-d-dee-dee-d-d-d-deep-deep-d-deeeeeep freezer?"" I replied: ""Noo thanks buddy that's too deep for me"" [EDIT] Fuck."

"Kangaroo 911: What's your emergency? Kangaroo: I CAN'T FIND MY CHILDREN Kangaroo 911: Did you check your pockets? Kangaroo: Oh nevermind"

"Give a man a fish... Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to google, he quits asking dumbass questions."