146583

Joke of the Day

"If Obama wins I'm leaving the country. If Romney wins I'm leaving the country. This is not a political Tweet I just want to travel."

"Apple farmers who are too scared to diversify should just grow a pear."

"On the internet you can be whoever you want. Its odd that so many choose to be stupid."

"What do you call a lesbian that turned straight A hasbien"

"The stoners surround me very, very slowly. Three of them are eating cereal. ""Look guys,"" I explain. ""When I said I had a pot belly..."""

"The thunder god.. sat upon his favourite Filly, I'm Thor, He Cried! The Horse replied, You forgot your thaddle thilly"

"What kind of noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster."

"Two aardvarks watched in amazement as a firework flashed across the sky. 1st aardvark: Wow! I wish I could fly like that. 2nd aardvark: You would if your tail was on fire."

"My ex-girlfriend had a parakeet That fucking thing would never shut up. The bird was pretty cool though."

"Not so funny short joke What is the difference between falling from the 1st floor and from the 10th floor? 1st floor : Splat, aaaaaahhh 10th floor: aaaaahhhh, Splat"